Her horns are iconic. In cartoon or live action. Pointy and twisted and black. You see them and you just know. You know who she is. You know how powerful she is. And you know not to mess with her and her cackle of doom.
Magnificent!
I mean… Maleficent.
But this time, Disney tells the story from her perspective. And it wouldn’t be Disney without the inclusion of a love story. But they have gotten better in recent years–the movies do not revolve solely around a princess falling in love with a prince and living happily ever after. No, Disney is experiencing its teenage years. They are learning that Happily Ever After is a lot more complicated than a chance meeting in the woods.
They give you a back story. An explanation for her behavior. She is no longer just an evil villain. She is a beautiful, dangerous, powerful woman bent on revenge.
But first–she is just a fairy. She lives in the Moors and is happy and at peace, flying around with her large, beautiful wings.
Guardian of the Moors…and wearer of Camo Wings?
But then, as usual, a human comes in and screws it all up. Young Stefan tries to steal from the Moors—foreshadowing his greed—but he and Maleficent soon become friends and after ten seconds a ten year montage, share “true love’s kiss” (*barf*).
As if Angelina Jolie would ever seriously go for him
But apparently Stefan is ahead of his time, acting like a true twenty-first century male–claiming to give Maleficent “true love’s kiss” and then never texting her back ignoring her until he needs something from her (me? bitter? no. *avoids eye contact*)
King Henry’s army attacks the Moors (because he wants to rule them as well, because he is greedy, obvi) but Maleficent, her wings, and her magical forest army are more powerful–because they have magic and wings and did I mention MAGIC?
King Henry’s pride is hurt because he lost to a girl (a winged, magical girl). So he greedily tells all the greedy men that if they greedily prove their greed by greedily killing Maleficent, he will greedily reward their greed with a position of immense greed: greedy heir to the greedy throne.
So Stefan goes back to the forest under the pretense of catching up with Maleficent, but then drugs her and takes advantage of her vulnerable state. Although he can’t bring himself to kill her, he cuts off her wings and takes them back as proof she is “dead” (umm, congrats on not being the absolute worst person in the history of all time and proving yourself only slightly better than that? You want a pat on the back for not killing her? A cookie? A gold star? You get nothing, you greedy greedster).
The Greedy King and the Stolen Wings
Except that he gets everything he wants–a wife, a kingdom, and a baby.
Maleficent is furious, as she has every right to be, and begins her goth phase decent into darkness. She takes on a sidekick, a raven named Diaval, who she finds caught in a net. She is able to transform him into any creature she wants, including a human. Diaval, in exchange for her saving his life, agrees to be Maleficent’s “wings” and spy on Stefan’s kingdom, which is how she learns of Princess Aurora’s christening.
“I, too, shall bestow a gift upon the child.”
Maleficent dramatically enters the palace, interrupting the 3 pixies bestowing beauty and happiness on Aurora. Maleficent’s “gift” to Aurora is a curse that will lead her to prick her finger on a spinning wheel spindle at age 16 and fall into a deep sleep (This is so incredibly strange to me. An entire world full of flying fairies, a shape-shifting raven/human/dragon/wolf and trees with faces—and the best Maleficent can come up with is the spindle of a spinning wheel? I mean, at least put the dragon to good use or lock Aurora in a tall tower and let her hair grow long—wait, wrong movie). There is a way to break the curse though—in typical Disney fashion—true love’s kiss. That thing King Stefan “shared” with Maleficent all those years ago. #Burn
“Curious Little Beastie”
All the spinning wheels in the kingdom are destroyed (because apparently something that simple will stop the curse and no new clothes are needed in the next 16 years–real smart, Stefan). To further prove his idiocy, Stefan sends Aurora to live in the forest with the pixies (I apologize for my lack of imagination in the pink/blue/green-pinned-together-fabric as a costume), who prove to be poor guardians and are obviously no match for Maleficent. Maleficent and Diaval quickly discover them and keep an eye on Aurora as she grows up.
Aurora’s “fairy godmother”
Watching Aurora over the years, even saving her life once, it becomes clear that Maleficent cares for the Princess. As a teenager, Aurora recognizes Maleficent and Diaval because they have been present throughout her life; she is not afraid of them, but rather believes Maleficent to be her fairy godmother (Yes, Princess, the scary, intensely green-eyed, black-horned woman sneaking around in the shadows your whole life could only ever be your fairy godmother).
Aurora is fascinated by the Moors and wants to stay with Maleficent. Maleficent tries to undo the curse, but realizes that she made it too powerful. Then of course Prince whatever-his-name-is comes along and I roll my eyes at Disney. The girl is 16 and has known the boy literally 30 seconds–how are they ever going to make me believe he is her true love? Plus, a prince riding by himself in a random forest? Where is he going? What does he want? I don’t even care.
Aurora returns to the cottage in the woods to tell the pixies/her “aunts” she is staying in the Moors and the blabbermouths tell her all about Maleficent and the christening and that her Father is alive.(Surprise! You’re a princess with a curse that takes place tomorrow night, but by all means, disregard the effort that’s been put into keeping you safe all these years). After confirming the truth with Maleficent, Aurora runs home to King Stefan who is so consumed with his need for revenge on Maleficent that he hardly acknowledges her and has her locked in her room (safe to say–worst b-day ever).
Naturally Aurora escapes from the room, pricks her finger, and falls asleep. Maleficent brings the twerpy prince in to try to break the spell, but it doesn’t work because FINALLY Disney is starting to recognize that 30 seconds of convo is not a solid basis for a lifelong relationship. Maleficent kisses Sleeping Beauty’s forehead and that is the “true love’s kiss” that awakens her.
Maleficent breaks her own curse with something she didn’t believe existed: True Love’s Kiss
Then there is a big fight scene with the King and his guards in suits made of iron, which is harmful to fairies. But Aurora saves the day by releasing Maleficent’s wings, which Stefan has kept locked in a glass cabinet (freak!). The wings reattach themselves (…no comment) and Maleficent flies to freedom at the last minute (as if they could really let the greediest/worst-father/husband/king-in-the-world kill off Maleficent at this point). King Stefan won’t let the fight go, so he has to die. And no one is sad about it. I think I may have clapped. And whistled (JK–I can’t whistle).
Peace is restored and Aurora becomes queen of both the human realm and the Moors.
Maleficent: Both a hero and a villain, according to the elderly Aurora voice-over
And they all live happily ever…
DramaDogz 